Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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