I wanna passion pit in your ass
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
