I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
