That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
