He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
