I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
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you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I fill condoms, not promises.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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