he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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