youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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