The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
