i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
