new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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