help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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