so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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