Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
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He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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