You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
