6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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