its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That accounts for only three of the penises
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
