i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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