Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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