his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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