I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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