it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
