Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she peed on how many people?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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