I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
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So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
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We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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