Me too!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
