the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
