It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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