dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
