Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Sober January is a disaster.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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