I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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