So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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