Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
