Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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