Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
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Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
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Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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