Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
