I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
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her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
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Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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