omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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