Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Are we still banned from the library?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
