i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
