that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
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Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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