I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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