I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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