carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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