I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
