Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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