the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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