In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
