is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
