I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
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So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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