I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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