I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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