her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize