Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
