...so i touched it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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