so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize