Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
